(Number 1/5)

So I’ m 40 and find myself single, again! My choice and not one I’m too worried about as I know the decision to leave my previous relationship was for the right reasons.  But I feel like I’m disappointing my parents. They are dying for me to meet someone nice and settle down.  Mainly because my dad can then relax a bit and feel I’m being looked after by said husband! Or boyfriend! .   All my “smug married” friends look at me and say oh no not again, why can’t you find a nice bloke?


And it makes me think – Yer why can’t I find a nice man?!  What does nice mean? What is it I’m looking for?  Why do I keep making the same mistakes?  Surely there has to be a man the equivalent of me?

So I decide to write my checklist.  You know the one.  We have all done it and some people write it down and some people keep it in their head, and somehow when you meet a potential partner that checklist comes to the forefront of your mind.  You can’t get it out of your head.  Or is that just me?

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Anyway I digress – I wrote my list down and I decided to split it into three sections: Wants, nice to have and could haves.


  • Makes me laugh
  • Scottish or any accent really – Irish is quite nice too
  • Ginger (joking but there’s something about a ginge that drives me wild)
  • Driven
  • Employed
  • Ambitious
  • Communicates
  • Sexy – now this is that something that makes your tummy flutter – hard to explain
  • Dresses nice
  • Sporty – so not lazy and fat but also not addicted to the gym
  • Kind
  • Similar age to me
  • Family person
  • Kids?
  • Love dogs
  • Likes music and gigs – Sonos plus Spotify (music heaven)
  • Travelling but also likes home
  • Snuggles on sofa with Countyfile (ok maybe im pushing it there but worth a try!)
  • Drinks – not excessively but likes a tipple!

Nice to have

  • Money (I don’t mean loads but on par with me)
  • Dog
  • Creative
  • Own house or flat
  • Runner or cyclist or walker
  • Likes Starbucks and millionaire shortbread

Could have

  • Baggage – ex wives, kids, dogs, rabbits
  • Nice car
  • Mansion
  • Place in France or Florida ;0)

So am I asking too much?   I think I may be and some of it’s important and some not so much.

So as I embark on my Tinder swiping – I try to keep an open mind.  It’s all about spark at the end of the day and connection with the person.  That’s what’s hard to explain but when you meet them you know.  It’s fire in your belly, it’s the flutters you get when they text or call.

So maybe I’m going to dump the checklist, go with the flow and just find that person with “that thing” the spark!

The quest for #scottish #ginger # love dogs.  Hmm maybe it’s on its way out.. a nice person that everyone tells me I should meet is on now on order.

Read my next blog It’s a numbers game to find out how I got on.


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